Too often in recent decades, not to mention the entire scope of human history, men and women have put forth inventions, products, commodities, weapons, pleasure-experiences, and other manufactured artifices that are so unnecessary and so startlingly detrimental to experience that it’s stunning that we survive them – and that they persist despite their detrimentality. Nuclear weapons are a clear example of this, as are E! Entertainment Television, the internet, any Ronco product, James Dobson, and fake tits. After getting word of another utterly unnecessary and more-than-likely-detrimental-to-all-of-humankind ‘advancement,’ it dawned on me that we need an award for the worst in this kind of culture swill. We could call it the “George W. Bush Citation for Acheivement in Collossal Jackassery,” though I’m sure a better name will be arrived at.

For 2008, I’d like to submit the following as a contender:

HoffSpace.

In my travels round the world I have always been surprised that no matter where I go people recognize and know me, from Europe, Australia and India to the Philippines and the Zulu Nation in South Africa. This got me thinking… I realized that while two people from two entirely different countries and backgrounds may seem to have nothing in common, the only thing they might have in common is me… So I decided to start a network where people from across the world might come together and get a conversation started over me. Where it will lead, I don’t know but the world would be a better place if everyone talked a little more to each other… So here is HoffSpace. —David Hasselhoff [emphasis mine]

Because what the world needs is about a million people talking about David Hasselhoff… I think this may be the least humanitarian humanitarian effort of all-time. God save us all.

And God damn him, too.

~

Another thought came to mind: This isn’t a social networking site per se so much as it is a Hasselhoffian Compliment Aggregator – feeding fan compliments, like prayers, into the Hoff’s head, already bloated and crumpled from too much sun and too much adoration from the German people.

(Thank you, HM!)

criticism /2008-08-20 by brandon e. heckman/

1. Aw man… How can you be hating on the Hoff???!!! I think what he is trying to do is great! As a matter of fact, I may make J-Wespace in my attempt to create “world-togetherness”. I’m sure a lot of people have a lot of, hmmm…how should I put it, colorful (does that work?) things to say about me… :-)

   by Jerry at 2008-09-01#

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